By Keith Lokmagozyan

Have you ever heard the phrase, “Don’t judge a book by its cover?” It offers two perspectives on appearance. The most common explanation for this idiom is that although the outside view of a book may not be that inviting, the text itself may be worth reading. The alternative perspective leaves us with more variety to evaluate. The outside of a book may be incredibly eye-catching, but the text may be boring, deceitful, or just not worth your time. 

This saying is equally applicable to friends as it is to the written word. Everyone has experiences with fake friends, someone you trusted and confided in who turns out to be a liar or only there when they want something or when something benefits them.

These “friends” are users who will suck the life out of you until you are bone dry and have nothing left, simply because they feel that they are entitled to something better than what they have. 

You may think that you can simply say “no” to certain expectations friends have of you, but that is where manipulation comes into play. Common signs of this type of person include using the argument of “But you’re my best friend” to get you to do something for them. Another sign is when they get mad at you and stay mad until you decide to do whatever that “friend” is asking of you.

There have been countless times when I have stayed up extra late helping my friends with their homework, writing emails for my friends to send to their teachers, and even taking notes for my “friends” all because I thought it would open a higher level of friendship for me and that “friend.” But that is where I went wrong, and where you could go wrong.

The best piece of information or advice that anyone can give you on navigating the realm of friendships comes from experience. For me, the best advice that I could give to anyone, and advice that I will give to my future children and grandchildren, is that friends come and go. The “friends” that go, only look at you as a placeholder, someone they can use when they want, someone they can discard when they don’t see him or her as useful anymore. That’s what makes a “friend,” fake. 

It doesn’t matter how kind and loving you are, how giving and understanding you can be. A fake “friend” will only get to cherish those qualities by themselves, because they are constantly using them for their own benefit. The difference between a fake friend, and a real friend that truly cherishes you to your fullest extent, is that they will enjoy those qualities, with you. 

Remember it’s okay to let go of friendships you’ve outgrown and prioritize your self-worth.  Set boundaries, communicate,  and surround yourself with those with beautiful covers AND kind insides.