Finding a perfect partner: the romanticism of a bad boy

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As a young girl in high school, I have reached the time in my life where I must focus on the one thing that will shape my future forever: finding a suitable significant other.

Truthfully speaking, society has been training me for this since I was child. The art of finding the right boy is in my nature; therefore, it should pose no problems, even on top of my other obligations like housework and family functions.

My training began in the playground back in elementary school. A seemingly nice boy approached me, and I was intrigued. We smiled at each other, and I thought, “This is it. I’m about to make a new friend,” until he threw sand in my face, yanked my pigtails, and ran away, snickering with his friends.

Now, I had always thought of myself as a strong individual, so when this boy hurt me, I did what any strong girl would do; I ran to my mother and cried. It was then she told me something that would influence my search for the perfect suitor forever: “He only insulted you and hurt you because he likes you.”

Even at that young age, I made the mental note that the ideal man would hurt me in order to express his love. After that, I no longer cried when a boy teased me; rather, I accepted it. I was even flattered (I mean, it’s not everyday that a boy targets you for your looks). From then on, insults from a boy equated to attempted flirtations, so I welcomed the hurtful words.

Film enforces this idea as well. When I go to the movies with my friends, I am constantly inspired by the main characters to imitate their behaviors in my life. I feel envious of the female love interest who gets to date and fall in love with the extremely attractive male love interest. With his dark leather jacket, lack of emotional expression, and limited communication skills, I am nothing short of in awe. Movie after movie, the male love interest has those same traits and thus, I’ve learned that to be as happy as those female love interests in the movies, I need to find a man who treats me horribly. In other words, I need a man who broods, fails to communicate with me, and can’t cherish me for who I am.

It’s fortunate that over time I’ve learned how to avoid a partner who respects me. Imagine being stuck a healthy relationship with a supportive and considerate man–the security and equality would be too much for my delicate and feminine persona to handle. 

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